Unbelievable statements by lawyers

These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts of America, and are things attorneys actually said in court, word for

word, taken down and now published by court reporters, who had to suffer from the torment of staying calm while these

exchanges were actually taking place.

The last one is the best ..

ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
_____________________________________

ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Would you repeat the question?
_____________________________________

ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
______________________________________

ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
______________________________________

ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
______________________________________

ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him!
______________________________________

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practising law.

(source: forwarded mails, LOl..)

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world's largest paper planes

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buzzword bingo

Buzzword bingo is a game played during meetings with cards featuring buzzwords (such as "incentivize," "outside the box," "push the envelope," and "wave a dead chicken") in place of the numbers of traditional bingo cards. A buzzword bingo card typically features 25 squares, five down and five across, including a free "bingo" square somewhere on the card as a bonus. Buzzword bingo is a simple game with few rules. Participants mark words and phrases on the card as they are spoken during a meeting; the first person to mark five terms in a row is supposed to jump up and shout "Bingo!" In more repressive environments, a participant may notify other players that they've scored through some surreptitious means, such as specific gesture or a text message. A player may not speak a buzzword term in order to mark it off. However, baiting one's colleagues to elicit buzzwords from them is widely considered acceptable -- and even laudable -- behavior.

Tom Davis, one of the founders of SGI, invented buzzword bingo in 1993. According to legend, the idea occurred to Davis after he saw a number of jargon terms on a blackboard in a colleague's office. David wrote a buzzword generator program and printed out cards full of phrases like "step up to it," "intellectual capital," and "paradigm shift." He passed the cards out to employees with a note: "The ball's in your court."

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ice fish

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1. MS Internet Explorer
2. MS Windows Media Player
3. MS Word
4. MS Windows Explorer
5. MS Windows OS [yeah, the OS crashes itself]

i guess he is bang on target.. U??

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Best lightning i had ever seen..

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greenery

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dinosaur time

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